Apparently Im a Feminism Terrorist.

I recently read an article that was put in the Washington Post by Dr. Michelle Smith. If you are familiar with the article then this post will make complete sense. If you have no clue what I am talking about, you may visit the article here http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/08/18/women-who-hate-on-feminists-hurt-all-women/ and read it for yourself. As everything in the blog post will be relating to this one particular article.

As I read the article I was curious about how I was hurting "all women" by my beliefs. I genuinely wanted to see if Dr. Smith had anything to offer me to restore my faith in Modern Feminism and make me believe that not all feminists were for a sexist movement. Unfortunately, Dr. Smith did not complete this task.

Immediately when I read the title, "Women Who Hate On Feminism Hurt All Women" I was taken aback. "Hate On"....I usually hear this context used by young teenagers who are mad at their parents, or who are in general upset because something is not going their way. I didn't expect a woman who has a doctorate to use such slang when writing an article for a very well-established newspaper. Despite this context, I continued to read on because I really did want to hear what she had to say. Maybe she was just trying to use modern slang in order to connect with her readers, I attempted to try to give her the benefit of the doubt. As I read on into the article, though, I ended up with a pretty big disappointment.

The first common "misconception" that Smith states, is that the anti-feminists state "Men and Women Already have equal rights where I live". I have to say I agree with Smith to an extent but to a different degree. Yes, we both share the same typical rights, but I don't see how Dr. Smith can say "substantive equality remains elusive". She points out that abortion rights are the ones that are typically challenged by this, and yes she is right, they are challenged almost daily, but Smith implies that any of our female rights can be revoked any time. My response to that is, ANY rights of ANY gender can be revoked at any time. Just look at our right to bare arms? Yes we still do have this right to an extent, but not in the way our forefathers intended. Also, I would like to point out the freedom of speech. Modern feminists can state anything they please, but women who believe the same as I do just have to suck it up and remain quiet, when our ideologies aren't being represented? I don't think so. If that isn't hypocritical of what the women before us that tried to put to an end to in the mid 1900s, I don't know what is.

Dr. Smith continues on in her piece of work and states, that another common misconception that is made in our movement is that "I was raised to be an independent woman, Im not a victim of anything". I do completely agree with her following statement that she makes after this that without feminist activism, we wouldn't have the right to be strong and independent. This rings true with traditional feminism, but not so much with modern feminism. Our movement is NOT about denying and forgetting what our female ancestors accomplished for us. Its about standing up for equal rights for everyone(not just one specific gender) in today's society, because our rights do get trampled on daily.

This next "misconception" really hit home with me. Smith wrote, "I am an abomination to feminists(because I am a stay at home mom). I have to disagree with Dr. Smith yet again on this subject, simply because of personal experiences. I have been told that I am silly or uneducated because I want to be a stay at home mother and that I need to move into the 21st century by many modern feminists. I also have to disagree with her implication that our movement disagrees with men being able to stay at home and take care of children as well, is a silly assumption. We are fighting for equal rights for everyone, so men should as well be privy to being stay at home fathers, if they so choose.

This one is my favorite of all "Men have rights too". Yes, men do have rights. Dr. Smith paints this picture by saying that the anti-feminist movement is stating that men's social and political power is being trampled on. I wouldn't agree with the political power, but I do believe that men's legal and social rights are being very much violated in today's modern feminist culture. Men should have every right to have sole custody or joint custody of their children if they so wish(and are good upstanding fathers who want their children for the right reasons), but the court system sees the mother as the nurturer so, the children often remain with the mother, unless she actually gives these rights to the father, or gives (or loses) her rights as a mother. Smith goes on to say that children put a "BURDEN" on women and cause them to hinder women's capacity to earn and our work force rights. This is where I almost stopped reading her article. Smith states that most women do not "enjoy" being the sole caregivers of their children. She also states that the only thing that restricts men is that they have less access to them after divorce. This got my blood boiling. Children do require a lot of sacrifice, granted, I will agree with that, but we are in the land of opportunity! If a female feels as though her right to earn fair pay to men is being hindered, go find a job with higher pay or go back to school and get a degree so you can find a different line of work that pays better! The opportunity gap is a made up fallacy by feminism. Also, NEWS FLASH kids cost money, it isn't their fault that they need taken care of. They didn't ask to come into the world and be born. If you don't want to make sacrifices, don't have children. Simple as that.

I want to close with saying that the Women Against Feminism movement is a movement against modern feminism. Our point has been completely misconstrued. We do stand by the feminists who started this movement. We thank them for giving us our rights to believe how we wish and to voice what we want to. We are just sickened by what it has become today. Our beliefs are being trampled on, and our rights are being violated because we oppose. This is denying us our freedom of speech. This should be a humanist movement, not something that oriented to specific groups of people or only for people who agree with one another. All beliefs and opinions should be supported. The feminist movement states that it speaks for all women, well, it doesnt speak for the women who believe like I do. If there wasnt problems with the ideologies of the feminist movement, there wouldnt be a need for an anit-feminist movement to begin with. Just let that sink in.


© Danielle Hunnicutt 2014

I Don't Need Modern Feminisim

What?! This is blasphemy! Sacrilege!  A woman not believing in modern feminisim?! Yes you read that correctly. Now let me tell you why.

The feminist movement, in the beginning, started off with good intentions. It was a movement for equality for all and empowerment. Women gained so much. The right the vote, the right to own a business/property, the right to equality in the work place and fair pay, the right to her own financial affairs, the right to decide what to do with their body, and so on. In today's society feminisim has sadly evolved to a movement fuelled by animosity towards men, and women believing that they are superior simply because of chromosomes and anatomy. It has evolved into a sexist movement. Whoa, pretty radical thinking, huh?  Excuse me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the intentions of this movement suppose to support equality, not superiority? 

My belief is that I am not owed anything simply because I was born with a vagina. I have worked my ass off for everything I've accomplished, and I'd rather be seen as an equal to my male peers only because of that. I don't need special treatment because I'm a "minority".

I don't need a group of women telling me that I'm inferior, silly, or ignorant because my biggest dream in life is to become a housewife, and that im dependant and submissive because of that. If you really knew me, youd know im anything but. I dont need a group of women to tell me that I'm mentally unstable because I loved being pregnant and that I loved birthing my child. I don't need a group of women tell me that I should fear all men because you never know when one of them could sexually assault or abuse me. Last time I checked, men were just as susceptible to abuse and/or rape by a woman/women. Rape and abuse is not just a woman issue. Not all men are the same, so I will never treat every man as such. I don't need a group of women tell me that because I refuse to fear all men that I deserved it when I did get sexually assaulted and abused. I refuse to claim that I'm a victim. I am a survivor. I don't need to be a martyr. I also don't need women telling me that my significant other owes me a living for bearing our daughter, in the event that we should split. I refuse to be "superior" to men. Even in the bible, it states that Eve came from Adams ribs. Not his foot, not created without him, but from his side because she was his equal. I'm paraphrasing,  but you catch my drift.

Our grandmothers and great grandmother's would be ashamed of what feminisim has become today. That we are trashing what they had worked so hard for. Equality. Since when did our ancestors fight for our rights to belittle each other for having different beliefs and values? We shouldn't be wasting our time hating each other and finding ways to be catty simply because some of us don't want to be superior. We should be empowering each other and supporting one another (including males) to accomplish everything in life that we wish to pursue, and fight for our right to be equal to one another.

I don't support modern feminisim.  I support equality. 

© Danielle Hunnicutt 2014

Survivor

Did you know that 44% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 18?

Did you know that 80% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 30?

Did you know that every 2 min, someone in America is being sexually assaulted?

Did you know that 1 in every 6 American women are the victim of rape?

Every year there are 237,868 victims(men, women, and children) of sexual assault.

Did you know that 60% of all sexual assaults are NOT reported?

Did you know that 98% of all rapists will NEVER spend 1 DAY in jail?

Did you know that 2/3 of all assaults are committed by someone known to the victim?

Did you know that 38% of rapists were a friend or acquaintance. 

One cool night in September of 2008, I became just another statistic.

Im just another statistic- I was under 17.

Im just another statistic- It all happened so fast, I couldnt process what had just happened to me...and when I did understand it, I was too humiliated and too scared to report it.

Im just another statistic- my attacker will never see the inside of a jail cell.

Im just another statistic- my attacker was someone who I had known for many years and I trusted.

Im not here to re-hash my attack, it would only send me back into a spiral of insomnia, nightmares, irritability, and hating myself. Im not looking for sympathy or pity. It took me nearly 2 years to even admit to my parents what had happened to me and nearly 6 years to even muster up the strength to make this public knowledge. Part of the healing process is acceptance. I want to accept what happened so I can move on with my life, and Im hoping that with this I can offer some strength to other people who have gone through the same thing as I. I am tired of being silent. Im tired of being "just another statistic". Im tired of letting my attacker have the upper hand still in my life. 

Im just an ordinary person, just like you. I always thought that sexual assault happens in big cities...I was wrong. Im from a small town. I thought that only girls dressed provocatively would be victims of rape, I was wrong. I was dressed conservatively. I thought only girls who were sexually promiscuous were victims of rape, I was wrong. I was a virgin. Everything that I thought about the women and girls I saw in the news that were victims was completely wrong. It can happen to men, women, and children. White, black, yellow or polka dotted. The Sexually promiscuous and the virgins. The girls who wear sexy clothing or the women who are dressed in burkas. It can happen in the United States, it can happen in Timbuktu....there is no rhyme or reason why the victims are attacked. Yeah science can tell you about chemicals in the brain that trend in rapists and pedophiles, but there is no sure fire way in predicting that someone is going to rape someone else in their lifetime. It took me a while to understand this, but rape can happen to anyone. 

If there is anything I want to offer from this, to someone who is looking for a lifeline right now, it is to know that you are not alone. You may be angry, scared, humiliated, and depressed. These feelings are all completely normal and you have every right to feel the way you do. Don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it" or "you need to cheer up" or "when are you ever going to be ok?". I'm here to tell you that even after 6 years, I am still not ok, but I'm learning how to cope and live my life one day at a time, and on the really bad days, one breath at a time. If there is anything I want to offer it is to let you know that you are not a victim, you are a survivor. You are strong and you can persevere though this, even if you feel like you cant. You made it through something horrendous and from here all you can do now, is learn to cope the best you can. If you stay silent, like I did, you are only allowing your attacker to win and control your life. That is the last thing you want to do. YOU are a winner and YOU control your life, not them. If you choose to follow this blog, I commend you and offer my empathy. If you feel like you are alone just know that there are hundreds of thousands of people who are suffering just like you are. Its not easy to face and its not easy to come to accept but we can learn to get through this together. Maybe, just maybe, I can offer enough strength and motivation to someone to help fight the battle of these startling statistics. Even if I reach one person, thats one less statistic. 

I refuse to be just another statistic any longer. This "statistic" has an identity. Im a mother, a daughter, a life partner, a co-worker, a niece, a cousin. I was the victim of rape... I AM a SURVIVOR.  

***I found my statistics on the RAINN website. They are an excellent source of information.