Did you know that 80% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 30?
Did you know that every 2 min, someone in America is being sexually assaulted?
Did you know that 1 in every 6 American women are the victim of rape?
Every year there are 237,868 victims(men, women, and children) of sexual assault.
Did you know that 60% of all sexual assaults are NOT reported?
Did you know that 98% of all rapists will NEVER spend 1 DAY in jail?
Did you know that 2/3 of all assaults are committed by someone known to the victim?
Did you know that 38% of rapists were a friend or acquaintance.
One cool night in September of 2008, I became just another statistic.
Im just another statistic- I was under 17.
Im just another statistic- It all happened so fast, I couldnt process what had just happened to me...and when I did understand it, I was too humiliated and too scared to report it.
Im just another statistic- my attacker will never see the inside of a jail cell.
Im just another statistic- my attacker was someone who I had known for many years and I trusted.
Im not here to re-hash my attack, it would only send me back into a spiral of insomnia, nightmares, irritability, and hating myself. Im not looking for sympathy or pity. It took me nearly 2 years to even admit to my parents what had happened to me and nearly 6 years to even muster up the strength to make this public knowledge. Part of the healing process is acceptance. I want to accept what happened so I can move on with my life, and Im hoping that with this I can offer some strength to other people who have gone through the same thing as I. I am tired of being silent. Im tired of being "just another statistic". Im tired of letting my attacker have the upper hand still in my life.
Im just an ordinary person, just like you. I always thought that sexual assault happens in big cities...I was wrong. Im from a small town. I thought that only girls dressed provocatively would be victims of rape, I was wrong. I was dressed conservatively. I thought only girls who were sexually promiscuous were victims of rape, I was wrong. I was a virgin. Everything that I thought about the women and girls I saw in the news that were victims was completely wrong. It can happen to men, women, and children. White, black, yellow or polka dotted. The Sexually promiscuous and the virgins. The girls who wear sexy clothing or the women who are dressed in burkas. It can happen in the United States, it can happen in Timbuktu....there is no rhyme or reason why the victims are attacked. Yeah science can tell you about chemicals in the brain that trend in rapists and pedophiles, but there is no sure fire way in predicting that someone is going to rape someone else in their lifetime. It took me a while to understand this, but rape can happen to anyone.
If there is anything I want to offer from this, to someone who is looking for a lifeline right now, it is to know that you are not alone. You may be angry, scared, humiliated, and depressed. These feelings are all completely normal and you have every right to feel the way you do. Don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it" or "you need to cheer up" or "when are you ever going to be ok?". I'm here to tell you that even after 6 years, I am still not ok, but I'm learning how to cope and live my life one day at a time, and on the really bad days, one breath at a time. If there is anything I want to offer it is to let you know that you are not a victim, you are a survivor. You are strong and you can persevere though this, even if you feel like you cant. You made it through something horrendous and from here all you can do now, is learn to cope the best you can. If you stay silent, like I did, you are only allowing your attacker to win and control your life. That is the last thing you want to do. YOU are a winner and YOU control your life, not them. If you choose to follow this blog, I commend you and offer my empathy. If you feel like you are alone just know that there are hundreds of thousands of people who are suffering just like you are. Its not easy to face and its not easy to come to accept but we can learn to get through this together. Maybe, just maybe, I can offer enough strength and motivation to someone to help fight the battle of these startling statistics. Even if I reach one person, thats one less statistic.
I refuse to be just another statistic any longer. This "statistic" has an identity. Im a mother, a daughter, a life partner, a co-worker, a niece, a cousin. I was the victim of rape... I AM a SURVIVOR.
***I found my statistics on the RAINN website. They are an excellent source of information.
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